seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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