in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
