Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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