Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
