me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
