# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
