those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
