The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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