Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
