Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
