i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
