she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
