Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
