im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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