I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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