Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize