so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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