at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
