we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
