You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
