we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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