so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize