When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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