dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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