his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
