i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
They took my balls.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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