I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
