So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize