haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
