Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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