My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
