Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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