What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
