Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
