THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
