is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
