I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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