absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
