It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
