im drinking this country out of the recession.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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