I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
