Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Even my vagina gasped.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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