what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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