It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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