Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize