Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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