ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
