I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
