Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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