ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
