we have officially lost it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
