That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
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Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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