I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
