Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
