I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
