Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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